the birth story.
Back after four hazy weeks!
Listen. If you skydive or BASE jump or whatever, if you're looking for endorphins and adrenaline and emotion, I have your new thrill: home birth. That's right. Fall in love, make a baby, have the baby at home.
On Saturday a few weeks ago, Bradee started having "pre-labor" contractions. These often go away so you're not supposed to get too excited about them. But that night, she woke me up at 4:30 am and said "I'm not having fun anymore".
The next 17 hours had it all. Hope, fear, love, exhaustion, joy, pain, hilarity, war, peace. Helping my wife through labor was as intense as anything I've ever done. Of course it's nothing compared to what she did, but sitting there helplessly while your wife is in the most pain she's ever felt... oof. I thought I was ready for that but it was like being kicked in the stomach over and over again -- especially the few times that she lost her focus and let a contraction get the best of her.
The worst part came around 6:00. Her labor's "transition" (i.e. the part that sucks the most) lasted much longer than most and it was obviously brutal. One of the emotional signposts of transition is self-doubt, and I knew that but I guess I forgot because when Bradee said "I don't know if I can do this if it keeps hurting this much", I basically said "you can transfer to the hospital if you want". Nice work, coach. Eileen, our midwife, was against it but she paged her backup doctor to give her a heads-up.
And with that, Bradee relaxed. And before we knew it she was pushing.
Most first-time moms push for about two hours. Bradee pushed Ian out in 10 minutes. She had obviously had enough labor, thanks, so if she had to push to end it, sure, fine, pushing, no problem, I'll push like crazy.
When Ian came out (and he just about lept out) and Eileen placed him on Bradee's chest... it was, well, I wish we had a picture of that split second. It was like summitting Everest. I will never forget looking at Bradee with my jaw literally wide open, crying and laughing and thinking we made it, she did it, it's over, we made it, he's here, she did it.
As for the home birth itself, for a few days afterward we wondered if we would choose that route again. But as the trauma wore off, we realized this: it was going to hurt no matter what. But at home, Bradee had the complete attention of two nurse-midwives for her entire labor -- not some nurse checking in every half hour. And there was no car ride in the middle of labor. And no shift changes, no hospital regulations, no IV, no screaming from the room next door. And in the next two days we had two hour-long midwife visits at home to see how everything was going.
American doctors can scoff at home births all they want, but no doctor provides the kind of care that these women did. I can't say enough good things about the midwives from BirthCare. They do health care the way it should be done.
Mostly, I can't say enough about Bradee. She did it. No hospital, no meds, no nothing. Ian and me, we're proud.